Hold Up! Not All Parents are Ready for School to Start

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Girls running on the beach.By the time August rolls around, most parents seem willing to take the days away and beg for school to begin. The gist of the pictures and comments on social media parents basically read, “When are the kids returning to school?! Ahh!” Honestly, I’d take summer over the school year any day. Even if the kids are always “here.” Is anyone with me?

Reasons Why I’m Not Ready for School to Begin

1. The Prep

I remember coming home from the first day of school with a list of supplies needed and going shopping with my dad. School supply shopping was always one of my favorite things to do!

Everything now is so prepared. Now the lists of supplies come weeks or even months before school starts. In some respects, I understand, but I’m trying hard not to rush our summer away. Purchasing the school supplies so early and having them sit in the kitchen corner reminds us how quickly summer goes. Stop it!

I support buying extra for children who cannot buy, but my daughter’s list asks for 60 pencils per kid. If are 20 children in my daughter’s class, they will start school with 1,200 pencils. And the middle school supply list for my son? Interpreting that list made me feel like I needed to return to school!

Last year I used my graphing skills to coordinate and group common supplies together. And early feeling of school-year parenting failure when you don’t find everything on the list. The white folder I’m still looking for when my daughter was in second grade (she’s going into the fourth) still haunts me. Oh, and I can’t even talk about the orange folder needed for my son in second grade (he’s going into eighth).

And the kids need to look presentable again. Does everyone have sneakers that fit? Could they get away with this backpack for another year?

Homework and Projects

Granted, it’s their work to keep track of and complete but come on… When you are a parent, at least these days, it’s expected that you do your best to keep on top of homework and assignments. Thanks, parent portal. Even if you are not the micromanaging type, you’ll tend to notice if your kid is sitting around and not doing any work in the evenings. Even if your kid is top-notch, there will always be that nudge of a feeling that something is due. Summer reading is a must, but I love that the evening hours are theirs. There’s no pressure of “this is due tomorrow” when your child only mentioned it today.

Bedtime

According to research, my children need between 9 and 11 hours of sleep per night to develop and be attentive to learning. I’ve never been one to manage our lives based on these charts, so let’s say that my 12-year-old son needs 10 hours of sleep a night. During the school year, he gets up at 6:30 a.m. To get ten hours of sleep a night, he would need to go to sleep at 8:30 p.m. each night. How many 12-year-old children are doing this?

In the summer, though, when they have fewer responsibilities, they wake up for camp at around 8 a.m. That’s an extra 90 minutes of sleep (for all of us) during the summer. It makes sense, right? And if they go to camp tired, there are few ramifications—no pressure to perform in camp, like there is in school. Worst case scenario, they can come home and crash since they don’t have hours of homework, which will always negate an 8:30 p.m. bedtime. Always.

Activities and Extra Curriculars

Ah, routine, routine, and more routine. A friend from our daycare days used to call it her “daily bus route.” This is a term I’ve adopted and have tried to spread all over suburbia.   So many things to do. So many places to go. They are all within a 3-mile radius, yet my car is in constant motion. I swear this is with the bare minimum of formal activities; Hebrew School, Girl Scouts, and softball for my daughter. And Hebrew School and piano for my son. In addition, there are often school events and family commitments, resulting in quite a tight schedule.

Summertime, on the other hand, you want to do something tonight? Sure, ok. No problem. For the most part, there’s less the kids have to do. It’s a more relaxed time of year. Take advantage and be a tad impulsive and spontaneous.

Money & Fundraisers

While summer camps and vacations are a pretty penny, don’t you feel like you are shelling out lots of dough during the school year? All for good causes; however, these school events and fundraisers seem to pop up more and more. When you send in $10 here or $20 there, it doesn’t seem like so much until you realize by the end of the week that you have no cash in your wallet.

My children go to great schools. We’re quite lucky in that respect—great teachers, classmates, and administration, so no complaints there. Summer brings out a feeling of freedom. That short time of year when your kids have some downtime with less complications, competition, commitment, and classwork. They can be themselves in all aspects of who they are. They can breathe easily. They can relax. They can just “be.”

When summer ends, there is a sense of losing that freedom and flexibility. This goes for me, even though I have a year-round full-time job. Could the lack of clothes makes us feel freer in summer? The truths is that this all may be an excuse to cover up the fact that I’ll miss them. The truth is, I like them being present – physically and emotionally. The saying goes, “The days are long, but the years are short.” Only so much time we get with these humans we spawn and raise! And I adore and cherish this time together.

The summer months give parents and kids a perfect opportunity to build on their relationships. Get to know each other without the stress of the school year responsibilities. See your kids in a different light, learn about them, and focus on who they are – not in their primary role as a student.

Alas, my daughter’s fourth grade class assignment will be arriving in the mail shortly. And it all begins. OK, fine – obviously, kids need an education.

There’s still time left – I promise! Do the BBQ. Jump in the pool. Take the kids for ice cream at 9 p.m. Catch those fireflies. And enjoy the rest of the summer!

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Melissa
Melissa is a Bronx native who moved to Westchester County after she and her high school sweetheart got hitched in 1997. She and her husband live in Mount Kisco with their son Corey (2004) and daughter Mia (2007). Melissa spent many years working in Human Resources and currently works in enrollment and marketing for a child care organization. Melissa is a two-time survivor of Postpartum OCD. She initially became interested in writing to raise awareness for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders but has discovered that writing is a newfound aspect of her life that she thoroughly enjoys. Melissa is excited to write with the Westchester County Mom team and hopes you’ll enjoy her stories of the trials and tribulations of a born-n-raised city girl raising teenagers growing up here in Westchester.

2 COMMENTS

  1. #1 reason- I am a teacher! If they go back I go back! Waaah
    But, seriously, you’re right! I enjoy summer with my kids!

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