My littlest baby, Nolan, turned 1 on November 13, coincidentally during Prematurity Awareness Month. He was born four weeks early and spent one week in the NICU. This was one of the hardest weeks of my life.
After suffering the loss of twins at 21 weeks, I was not emotionally prepared to be in the NICU with another premature baby. My rainbow baby, Nora, made it to full term and was born right on time at 39 weeks. But upon seeing Nolan, despite my fears of having a preemie, I couldn’t help but think that he was perfect. He was finally here and he was alive. I was anxious to hold him, bond with him, and start breastfeeding right away, but Nolan was rushed to the NICU just minutes after birth.
When I first saw him in the incubator, I fell apart. Seeing my baby hooked up to a breathing machine, tubes, and wires broke my heart. He looked so helpless. I wanted to scoop him up in my arms, hold him close, kiss his little head, and tell him it would be ok. But I could not hold him. I was not allowed to, but the nurses let me put my hand in the incubator to hold his.
When I held him for the first time, there were wires everywhere, and each little beep and alarm made me nervous. At the time, he was being fed through IV, so I could not start to breastfeed but was assured I would be able to try soon. After two days, I was finally able to try breastfeeding. It was frustrating because my milk still had not come in, and with the nasal cannula there to give him oxygen, it was hard for him to latch.
After about three days, my milk had fully come in, and having my son latch for the first time was the most beautiful experience. I was his comfort, and he was mine. I am a strong advocate for breastfeeding; however, sometimes it is not possible for everyone. I think it is important that NICU parents know that they have the option of receiving donor milk and can ask about getting a donor milk-based fortifier, to help give their preemie the best chance possible for improved health.
That’s why I wanted to partner with Prolacta Bioscience, which makes a fortifier made from 100% human donor milk, instead of cow milk. It is the only such fortifier on the market. Studies show that a 100% human milk diet including Prolacta’s fortifier can improve health outcomes and help reduce the risk of NEC, sepsis, and mortality in preemies, which is amazing. It really is liquid gold.
My advice to NICU parents is to take it one day at a time and be patient. Each preemie is different and heals and grows in their own time. Do not be afraid to ask for help with feeding; it could be a nurse, a lactation consultant, or a friend who has been there. Breastfeeding does not come easy for every mom and every baby, but having help can make the journey less stressful. For us, being completely involved in our son’s care was very helpful. We changed every diaper, did every feeding, and bathed and dressed him. It helps you feel like you are truly caring for them and allows you to bond with your baby.
If your baby is too small to hold or care for, sit with them, read them books, sing them songs, place your hand on theirs. They know you are there, and remember, you are doing the best you can. NICU parents are some of the strongest ones out there, and I am cheering for you!
We named our son “Nolan,” which means “champion,” and that is just what he is. He fought, he was courageous, he is here, and he truly is the light of our family. I am also happy to report that at 13 months, he is still breastfeeding four or more times per day. It is such a special bond that he and I share, and I thank the NICU nurses for being our cheerleaders and supporting us on our breastfeeding journey.
If you or someone you know is a preemie parent and is interested in learning more about Prolacta and the 100% human milk-based fortifier they make, and its benefits, check out their website or take a look at this infographic, which breaks down the facts about human milk fortifiers. It is something you can share with your baby’s care team!
