We all know the famous expression, “Happy wife, happy life.” But what happens when your honey feels crummy? A recent report went viral describing how it’s not only the wife’s mood that affects family life but the husband’s as well.
A father’s bad moods can negatively impact the emotional and social development of his children.
In fact, anyone and everyone in a family has an equal opportunity for causing disruptions in the general mood and functioning of the people in the household. Think of it as emotional viruses that invade the home. Once one person gets it, it may spread around, influencing the general well-being of the family.
People may think depression is a women’s issue. Women typically talk about their feelings more, and they might have more avenues for venting and expressing themselves. Depression is reported more in women, and the signs and symptoms seem more recognizable.
Sadness, insecurity, and depression exist in men, too.
Men often feel that they need to be the “problem solvers,” so not being able to “shake off” their bad mood or find a solution for themselves may be an additional source of shame for them. In fact, our husbands do have it tough, especially given the added pressures that exist in our local towns.
Our companions might be contending with long commutes, extended hours at work, and requirements to travel for the job, all of which take them away from their source of strength and safe haven…the home. And, once in the house, they may feel the pressures of co-parenting; to help out with the kids, the routines, the cooking, and cleaning.
Being a dad doesn’t just mean driving your kid to their game. It requires hands-on, uninterrupted, quality time with the children. Sprinkle on the extras like the need to afford all the added expenses that inflated taxes, extracurricular activities, and sleepaway camp bring…just thinking about it makes me grumpy!
Depression may look different in men than in women, but it’s there. Here are some signs and symptoms you might notice that could indicate your spouse is feeling the blues:
Anger and Aggression: Whereas women may outwardly show sadness by crying, men may exhibit feelings of depression by being angry and acting aggressively. Does your husband seem to have a short fuse? Perhaps he engages in road rage or has a quick temper that gets unleashed at a waiter when you are out to eat.
Complaints of Body Aches: When the world figuratively seems like it’s on your shoulders, it may literally feel that way, too. You may notice your husband complaining more recently of headaches and body pain. It could be an indication that there is some emotional pain present as well.
Sleep Disturbances: Perhaps you notice that your husband is tired all the time, despite sleeping most of the night. Or, you may find that he is unable to fall asleep or stay asleep, tossing and turning through the night.
Loss of Interest in Sex and/or Work: You may find that the honeymoon spark has faded. This might be more than just two people settling down to the rituals and habits of raising kids together. Perhaps your husband hasn’t been coming home to fill you in on the latest office politics, or he’s complaining about his day during dinner.
Increased Interest in Sex and/or Work: Some men might become hyper-sexual when depressed. This might be a way of self-soothing the emotional upheaval he is going through. For others, diving into work might be the escape, both physical and emotional, from the internal suffering he’s experiencing.
Drinking and Using Substances: Have you noticed your husband’s one beer at dinner turning into a six-pack or his indulging in an extra cocktail after work? Self-medicating by relying on drugs and drinking to alleviate emotional pain can be a symptom of depression.
Everyone experiences rough waters from time to time. If you notice some or most of these signs and symptoms and see that they persist over time, it may be more than just a phase and time to think about addressing your husband’s mood for his sake and the sake of the family as well.
