How I Met Your Father: Luck or Destiny?

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A couple cuddling on the couch.It’s been a while since I’ve thought about how we met, but it’s still an amazing story to me about how a small opportunity can present itself and how life can change so suddenly. I met your father in 2010 on Match.com. At the time, I was a single mom of a 4-year-old boy, your big brother, Tristan. I worked full-time, lived in the Bronx, and attended grad school part-time. For spring break, I had taken a week off from work to visit one of my best friends, your godmother, Danielle. She was going to Medical school in Dominica at the time. I arranged for Tristan to stay with Nana, packed, and headed to the airport.

A Change of Plans

That night in March of 2010, we were experiencing a severe wind storm, and many flights were canceled, including mine. The problem with traveling to Dominica is an overnight layover in San Juan, so they recommend that you make a hotel reservation for the night. Not many flights go into Dominica, so this wind storm would cause me to miss the connecting flight and delay my trip by 2 to 3 days. Excluding travel time, I only had three full days to enjoy on the island, to begin with, which is why I decided that it would be best to cancel my trip altogether.

The next day, with a free schedule, I decided to explore Match.com. Thanks to Bravo TV’s The Millionaire Matchmaker and a flood of Match.com and eHarmony commercials, my curiosity was piqued. I had no expectations about finding a match, but I was ready to start seriously dating again. I was 25 years old, and it wasn’t hard to find a date. But I felt like my busy schedule limited me and that I couldn’t meet men that were compatible with me. I had dated as a single mom, but things never worked out for many reasons.   After speaking with Danielle about the idea, we agreed it would be fun. I figured, at the very least, I would get to learn more about myself and even have fun testing out some of Patti’s advice on finding your match. 

So I signed up for Match.com.

On March 20, 2010, I registered for a 6-month membership on Match to give myself some time to explore. I also chose this package because it came with a guarantee to be reimbursed if I didn’t find a match. The Match.com dating profile was much easier to fill out than eHarmony, which was why I went with that site. Filling out a dating profile may be awkward, but once you get it right, it feels great. I was impressed by how I represented myself and was ready to begin my search. I don’t think I would have done this without having a friend like Danielle to enjoy this with me. I gave her my profile login and password, and we dove right in.

Oh, the characters I found on Match.com! It was so entertaining at times, and I would remind myself that if all else failed, I was guaranteed a refund. I chatted with a few very interested guys, but I never desired to meet them.

It was either April 3rd or 4th that I received a “wink” from your father. Match’s “wink” is like a Facebook “poke” to get someone’s attention. On Match, a wink tells a person you are interested in them. He was 12 years older than me, so I wasn’t sure about winking back. He was also white, and I had never dated a white guy. He had been married and had a young daughter, your big sister, Bailey. I noticed that she was biracial. I consulted with my expert, Danielle, who approved and told me to go ahead and wink back. 

Dating your father.

My time on Match was very brief. I chatted with your father, as well as a few other men. Your father had gone out on dates with other women on Match before, but he was my first and only. After talking online for a few weeks, we decided to go on our first date on April 23, 2010. This was our second attempt to go out, as he flaked on me the first time. He picked me up, and we went to City Island for dinner and drinks. Later that night, we ended up at a bar taking shots of Tequila and singing karaoke together. Before we met, your father said he would never sing karaoke. So, that tells you the magic I work.

Our perfect first date ended with a perfect first kiss. And I forget if it was the same night or the following day, but I got asked out for the next night.  

I broke some of Patti’s rules, maybe a bit too many. In hindsight, maybe I would do some things differently. But that first year was a year of pure passion and magic. We were impulsive and insanely in love!

Getting the kids together.

About a month after our first date, we had Tristan and Bailey meet for a playdate at the Bronx Zoo.

After that, our two children spent almost every other weekend together. We knew we would combine and expand our family less than a year after meeting. Nearly seven years and two daughters later, we are a busy and thriving family of 6 (and two cats). 

I don’t think of our meeting often, but anytime I do remember, I am amazed. Joining a dating website was so out of character for me, but I did. And if it weren’t for canceling my vacation, I probably would not have joined. But how happy I am that I did.

We probably should have sold our story to Match, but I’m still waiting to see how this love story turns out.

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Leah
Leah lived in New York City for most of her life and moved to Westchester County in 2011 to blend and extend her family with an adorable high school Math teacher she met on Match.com. After 7 years of staying home and working part-time, she is back to the full time grind, commuting to the Bronx daily in her minivan a.k.a. trusty mommy wagon (this city girl’s first and only car). This full-time working, part-time blogging mother-of-4 seems to have it all together to the observer. In fact, part of this illusion is truly having the most amazingly resilient children a mother could ask for. Leah is an overthinking, jam pack the agenda, let loose when no one’s watching, be kind to your neighbor, sanity don’t fail me now kind of soul and she loves being a part of Westchester County Moms Blog. She strives to keep her kids super busy with a wide variety and good balance of academic, social, and athletic activities while desperately managing her home and budget.

4 COMMENTS

    • Thanks… I am glad you enjoyed it… I try to tell myself that Dave and I appreciated one another more because of our rocky journey before meeting.

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