It’s been awhile since I’ve thought about how we met, but it’s still an amazing story to me about how a small opportunity can present itself and how life can change so suddenly. I met your father in 2010 on Match.com. At the time, I was a single mom of a 4-year old boy, your big brother, Tristan. I was working full-time, living in the Bronx, and going to grad school part-time. For my spring break, I had taken a week off from work to visit one of my best friends, your godmother, Danielle. She was going to Medical school in Dominica at the time. I made arrangements for Tristan to stay with Nana, packed, and headed to the airport.
A Change of Plans
That night in March of 2010, we were experiencing a severe wind storm and many flights were cancelled, including mine. The problem with travelling to Dominica is that there is an overnight layover in San Juan, so they recommend that you make a hotel reservation for the night. There also are not many flights that go into Dominica, so this wind storm would cause me to miss the connecting flight and delay my trip 2 to 3 days. Excluding travel time, I really only had 3 full days to enjoy on the island to begin with, which is why I decided that it would be best to cancel my trip altogether.
The next day, with a free schedule, I decided to explore Match.com. Thanks to Bravo TV’s the Millionaire Matchmaker and a flood of Match.com and eHarmony commercials, my curiousity was piqued. I had no expectations about finding a match, but I was ready to start seriously dating again. I was 25 years old, and it wasn’t hard finding a date. But I felt like I was limited by my busy schedule, and that I didn’t have the ability to meet men that were compatible with me. I had dated as a single mom, but for many reasons things never worked out. After speaking with Danielle about the idea, we agreed it would be fun. I figured at the very least, I would get to learn more about myself and even have fun testing out some of Patti’s advice on finding your match.
So I signed up for Match.com
On March 20th, 2010, I registered for a 6-month membership on Match, to give myself some time to explore. I also chose this package because it came with a guarantee to be reimbursed if I didn’t find a match. The Match.com dating profile was much easier to fill out than eHarmony, which was a major reason why I went with that site. Filling out a dating profile may be a really awkward thing to do, but once you get it right, it feels great. I was impressed by how I represented myself, and ready to begin my search. I don’t think I would have done this without having a friend like Danielle to enjoy this with me. I gave her my profile login and password and we dove right in.
Oh, the characters I found on Match.com! It was so entertaining at times, and I would remind myself that if all else failed, I was guaranteed a refund. I did chat with a few guys that were very interested, but I never had any desire to meet any of them.
It was either April 3rd or 4th that I received a “wink” from your father. Match’s “wink” is like a facebook “poke” to get someone’s attention. On Match, a wink tells a person that you are interested in them. He was 12 years older than me, so I wasn’t sure about winking back. He was also white, and I had never dated a white guy. He had been married and had a young daughter, your big sister, Bailey. I noticed that she was biracial. I consulted with my expert, Danielle, who approved and told me to go ahead and wink back.
Dating your father
My time on Match was very brief. I chatted with your father, as well as a few of other men. Your father had gone out on dates with other women on Match before, but he was my first and only. After talking online for a few weeks, we decided to go out on our first date on April 23, 2010. This was actually our second attempt to go out, as he flaked on me the first time. He picked me up and we went out to City Island for dinner and drinks. Later that night, we ended up at a bar taking shots of Tequila and singing karaoke together. Before we met, your father said he would never sing karaoke. So, that just tells you the magic I work.
Our perfect first date ended with a perfect first kiss. And I forget if it was the same night or the next morning, but I got asked out for the next night.
I did break a bunch of Patti’s rules, maybe a bit too many. In hindsight, maybe I would do some things differently. But that first year was a year of pure passion and magic. We were impulsive and insanely in love!
Getting the kids together
About a month after our first date, we had Tristan and Bailey meet for a playdate at the Bronx Zoo.
After that, our two children spent almost every other weekend together.
Less than a year after meeting, we knew we would combine and expand our family. Almost 7 years and 2 daughters later, we are a busy and thriving family of 6 (and 2 cats).
I don’t think of our meeting often, but anytime I do remember, I am amazed. Joining a dating website was so out of character for me, but I did. And if it weren’t for cancelling my vacation, I probably would not have joined. But how happy I am that I did.
We probably should have sold our story to Match, but I guess I’m still waiting to see how this love story turns out.